Spring has sprung in Southern Maine...!!!
I just looked at my back porch deck this morning and the iceberg that had previously been habitating the deck was gone...all gone..all that was left was a wet mark..I quickly ran to the front window and looked out. I wanted to see if the iceberg in the front yard has melted...all that is left of what used to be the sledding hill is now a mere bump in the grass....I then looked up at the sky, almost as if to see if it had any plans in the near future to spoil springs arrival (by trying to build up the iceberg again), but all i saw was sun...
how lovely to see the sun...yes it is still cold, but not that cold. I no longer need a jacket during the day. I still wear my hat (mostly to hid the fact that during the winter I do not fix my hair (frankly, I don't fix my hair during the summer either, always going to the beach and all)..
Since this festive mood came upon us we decided for Family home evening to plant our seedlings. We are excited to be growing our vegetables from scratch this year. Normally we let someone else grow our seeds for us then purchase them as strong seedlings. Each year we are getting abit more courageous. We are after all planning on becoming farmers. Medical school and the career that follows it are to finance our farming career. I should make a side note that medical school and the eventual career will also be financing our other interest, woodworking. Did I mention that my husband spent a good hour salivating and staring at the Thomas Moser Website last night (all those thoughts about how he could make this and that for loads cheaper etc...)and how this morning upon getting ready for work (which for the next 3 weeks is a lockdown Psych institution (anybody looking for a vacation spot?)), he laments, "what am I doing, I want to be building furniture, not going to a psych ward..."....
We are always becoming are we not :)
Monday, April 7, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Baking
I have been baking/cooking since I can remember. I just have always had an interest in creating. My parents were laid back about such things and I can remember cooking the bacon by myself (standing up on a chair to reach the electric skillet, fork in hand) when I was just 4-5. When I was 8 I would cook whole meals by myself and without a parent even home to supervise me (that was part of the fun, surprising my folks with a wonderful creation upon their arrival home). Now, at first I would thumb through any cookbooks I could find but even from the beginning I was not one for being told what to do and how much of it to do! Hmm...I think I still have this problem...
I would (and still do) scan a recipe to get an 'idea' of what categories of things need to go into the product: For example, in order to make yummy bread you need a flour (or a mix of different kinds), an oil (many to choose from here as well), a leaven (yeast or sourdough or chemicals like baking soda (sounds like a food item I know, but it is actually a chemical with its own MSDS sheet, and I clean more with it than I eat it), a liquid, and a sweetener (so many options here as well). This is the basics. You can add things from here like spices, nuts, etc...
Now once I know the categories I need and a general idea of ratios I just improvise. I love it when things turn out and when they don't (I have made quite a few interesting creations without meaning to) I learn by my mistakes and try again.
I have been baking/cooking with liliana since she was little (my first memory is of her around 9 mts or so and sitting her on the counter to 'help' me as she refused to play with her toys while i was cooking/baking.
It is hard to be creative when another wants to help. Only I know in my head what I am trying to create (cinnamon bread for instance) and I am the one who has an idea of ratios. She wants me to let her measure everything (she is abit concrete when it comes to this, she even will take a knife pat out the flour, then swipe off the excess, something i would NEVER do!) but I know by feel or sight what is right, or I know if something needs more water by how it feels...
It is hard to teach. Regardless of the difficulty I would rather my daughter learn how to cook/bake instead of learning just how to follow orders (recipe's). Don't get me wrong, it is nice that another has figured out the particulars so that we do not always have to reinvent the wheel ourselves. I just feel that in the long run it is more helpful, or will be more of a help to my children, if they learn how to really cook/bake, and make a nutritionally balanced meal. This world is crazy. Food may get scarce, you may not have every item a recipe calls for. What are you going to do? Starve?
What if you have taught you child a skill (like if you need to build a fire out in the woods, they know the various categories that go into building a fire, so are better able to make use of what is available, instead of lamenting the fact that there is no kindling or matches, when they are sitting on some dry moss and throwing sticks and some rocks in their frustration).
You know, as parents, we are baking/cooking. Jacob and I have been examining alot lately how we are doing as parents. We noticed that we are trying to control too much (following a recipe to a T) instead of just focusing on instilling categories ('teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves").
I also remember something from my own childhood. I was 8. My mom was talking about me to my aunt and kept referring to me as "my child". By that age I had learned that the word "my" was a possessive pronoun and it rubbed the wrong way. I interrupted my mom and said, "Mom, you do not own me, I just came through you, you are in charge of raising me, but this does not give you ownership of me".
My daughters were with jacob and I before this life. All four of us were mature spirit children of a lovingly Heavenly Father. All four of us on our own decided to come to this earth. We were put into family units for a purpose, that purpose was not to have someone to control/dominate/boss...My daughter may be 3, but her spirit is mature and full of faith (that is why she is here after all, just like the rest of us)...
I hope, we hope, that after all of our 'baking/cooking/creating' with our daughters is over, they will turn out delicious, yummy, healthy, wise, self-sufficient, faithful, loving, strong women...
Now here is a delicious new thing I started making, my version of a recipe:
Cinnamon Buns(seriously the best I have ever had...)
Alright, so you put some oats in a pot with some water, bring to a boil (how much of the following two items depends on how much bread you want to end up with, in general, pretend you are making oatmeal for one person to eat for breakfast)
While that is getting up to boil, in a big bowl, put in 1/2 stick a butter (assuming you are using just one serving of oatmeal, this morning I added a whole stick of butter as I wanted to make lots for our ward potluck), 1 tsp salt(a little more or a little less wont change a thing), 3 big spoons of honey (hmm, you may be asking yourself how big my spoons are compared to yours, good question...not sure of the answer...so lets just estimate it at 3-4 tbsp of honey, once again, a little more or a little wont hurt it).
Dump your oatmeal into the big bowl, let is melt the butter (you can stir if you feel inclined to do so or if you have a kid who is dying to 'help'), then add milk (for one batch of buns i would say it is around 1 cup milk- I should say that I have only ever tried this with whole milk (raw at that-but why I drink raw milk is for another blog post)), this helps the milk get alittle warmed up, which helps with the yeast (by the way while all the following is going on you should let the yeast proof in a small bowl or cup, about 1 cup warm water to 2-3tsp yeast), dump the yeast mix into the big bowl with everything, give it a mix with the spoon. Now it is time for flour. I like to use mostly whole wheat and a little white, there are loads of other combos that would work. So I would say I put a 3:1 ratio, 3 parts whole wheat to one part white (white has no nutrients so I try to minimize its usage, it actually robs my body of nutrients (b vits) in order for my gut to digest white flour (same goes for white rice and any other 'white' (stripped) food item)...I stir abit and see how the dough is coming together, if still sticky I add abit more flour alittle at a time until dough is no longer sticky. I let sit for around 30 mins.
Now comes the fun (for the kids), I roll out the dough, like pizza, taking butter knives we use soft butter (real butter), and spread a layer all over the dough, then using a different butter knife we spread raw honey all over the dough (on top of the butter). I have tried using regular, filtered honey, but it does not cook right, you have to use the raw, which is great, it is yummy and has the extra added bonus of being a healthier version of honey, it is great for kids with allergies or food sensitives), then we use a fine mesh thingy (strainer) and i put cinnamon in it and my girl shakes it around till the dough is covered, then we roll up the snake and cut.
I grease my pans with either butter or coconut oil(my favorite cooking oil by far and soooooo healthy for you...really)
and place the buns in them, get my oven up to temp 375, than pop them in ..once i start smelling them they are within 5-8 mins of being done, so I just check on them by seeing if the tops are alittle brown..
Then for an icing if you want one I do the following:
I melt some butter (about 1/2 stick, pour in a cap full of vanilla extract, and some powdered sugar (still working on how to replace this white sugar with something better) around 2 cups, 3 or so tbsp of milk and just drizzle it over the buns...so yummy....
so, this is why I have a hard time giving out my recipe's for everyone who ask for them(it turns into a miniture book)...enjoy
I would (and still do) scan a recipe to get an 'idea' of what categories of things need to go into the product: For example, in order to make yummy bread you need a flour (or a mix of different kinds), an oil (many to choose from here as well), a leaven (yeast or sourdough or chemicals like baking soda (sounds like a food item I know, but it is actually a chemical with its own MSDS sheet, and I clean more with it than I eat it), a liquid, and a sweetener (so many options here as well). This is the basics. You can add things from here like spices, nuts, etc...
Now once I know the categories I need and a general idea of ratios I just improvise. I love it when things turn out and when they don't (I have made quite a few interesting creations without meaning to) I learn by my mistakes and try again.
I have been baking/cooking with liliana since she was little (my first memory is of her around 9 mts or so and sitting her on the counter to 'help' me as she refused to play with her toys while i was cooking/baking.
It is hard to be creative when another wants to help. Only I know in my head what I am trying to create (cinnamon bread for instance) and I am the one who has an idea of ratios. She wants me to let her measure everything (she is abit concrete when it comes to this, she even will take a knife pat out the flour, then swipe off the excess, something i would NEVER do!) but I know by feel or sight what is right, or I know if something needs more water by how it feels...
It is hard to teach. Regardless of the difficulty I would rather my daughter learn how to cook/bake instead of learning just how to follow orders (recipe's). Don't get me wrong, it is nice that another has figured out the particulars so that we do not always have to reinvent the wheel ourselves. I just feel that in the long run it is more helpful, or will be more of a help to my children, if they learn how to really cook/bake, and make a nutritionally balanced meal. This world is crazy. Food may get scarce, you may not have every item a recipe calls for. What are you going to do? Starve?
What if you have taught you child a skill (like if you need to build a fire out in the woods, they know the various categories that go into building a fire, so are better able to make use of what is available, instead of lamenting the fact that there is no kindling or matches, when they are sitting on some dry moss and throwing sticks and some rocks in their frustration).
You know, as parents, we are baking/cooking. Jacob and I have been examining alot lately how we are doing as parents. We noticed that we are trying to control too much (following a recipe to a T) instead of just focusing on instilling categories ('teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves").
I also remember something from my own childhood. I was 8. My mom was talking about me to my aunt and kept referring to me as "my child". By that age I had learned that the word "my" was a possessive pronoun and it rubbed the wrong way. I interrupted my mom and said, "Mom, you do not own me, I just came through you, you are in charge of raising me, but this does not give you ownership of me".
My daughters were with jacob and I before this life. All four of us were mature spirit children of a lovingly Heavenly Father. All four of us on our own decided to come to this earth. We were put into family units for a purpose, that purpose was not to have someone to control/dominate/boss...My daughter may be 3, but her spirit is mature and full of faith (that is why she is here after all, just like the rest of us)...
I hope, we hope, that after all of our 'baking/cooking/creating' with our daughters is over, they will turn out delicious, yummy, healthy, wise, self-sufficient, faithful, loving, strong women...
Now here is a delicious new thing I started making, my version of a recipe:
Cinnamon Buns(seriously the best I have ever had...)
Alright, so you put some oats in a pot with some water, bring to a boil (how much of the following two items depends on how much bread you want to end up with, in general, pretend you are making oatmeal for one person to eat for breakfast)
While that is getting up to boil, in a big bowl, put in 1/2 stick a butter (assuming you are using just one serving of oatmeal, this morning I added a whole stick of butter as I wanted to make lots for our ward potluck), 1 tsp salt(a little more or a little less wont change a thing), 3 big spoons of honey (hmm, you may be asking yourself how big my spoons are compared to yours, good question...not sure of the answer...so lets just estimate it at 3-4 tbsp of honey, once again, a little more or a little wont hurt it).
Dump your oatmeal into the big bowl, let is melt the butter (you can stir if you feel inclined to do so or if you have a kid who is dying to 'help'), then add milk (for one batch of buns i would say it is around 1 cup milk- I should say that I have only ever tried this with whole milk (raw at that-but why I drink raw milk is for another blog post)), this helps the milk get alittle warmed up, which helps with the yeast (by the way while all the following is going on you should let the yeast proof in a small bowl or cup, about 1 cup warm water to 2-3tsp yeast), dump the yeast mix into the big bowl with everything, give it a mix with the spoon. Now it is time for flour. I like to use mostly whole wheat and a little white, there are loads of other combos that would work. So I would say I put a 3:1 ratio, 3 parts whole wheat to one part white (white has no nutrients so I try to minimize its usage, it actually robs my body of nutrients (b vits) in order for my gut to digest white flour (same goes for white rice and any other 'white' (stripped) food item)...I stir abit and see how the dough is coming together, if still sticky I add abit more flour alittle at a time until dough is no longer sticky. I let sit for around 30 mins.
Now comes the fun (for the kids), I roll out the dough, like pizza, taking butter knives we use soft butter (real butter), and spread a layer all over the dough, then using a different butter knife we spread raw honey all over the dough (on top of the butter). I have tried using regular, filtered honey, but it does not cook right, you have to use the raw, which is great, it is yummy and has the extra added bonus of being a healthier version of honey, it is great for kids with allergies or food sensitives), then we use a fine mesh thingy (strainer) and i put cinnamon in it and my girl shakes it around till the dough is covered, then we roll up the snake and cut.
I grease my pans with either butter or coconut oil(my favorite cooking oil by far and soooooo healthy for you...really)
and place the buns in them, get my oven up to temp 375, than pop them in ..once i start smelling them they are within 5-8 mins of being done, so I just check on them by seeing if the tops are alittle brown..
Then for an icing if you want one I do the following:
I melt some butter (about 1/2 stick, pour in a cap full of vanilla extract, and some powdered sugar (still working on how to replace this white sugar with something better) around 2 cups, 3 or so tbsp of milk and just drizzle it over the buns...so yummy....
so, this is why I have a hard time giving out my recipe's for everyone who ask for them(it turns into a miniture book)...enjoy
Saturday, March 29, 2008
All Jammied Up
Liliana wears two types of clothing: pajammies and dresses (I count the leotards in with the dresses). Yes, she does have pants, overalls, etc., but she will not wear them. This morning, I got up a little early to give Mattie and Heather a little more room in our quite cramped full size bed. Liliana woke up soon after I did and we decided to watch an episode of "Signing Time". During the show, Liliana tried to keep me from practicing the signs by wrapping herself around one of my arms, so I started to tickle her. Laughing, she signed "you're funny". I responded by signing "you're silly", which is our standard joke. She laughed and said "I'm not silly, you're silly". I then signed, "you're beautiful". She looked at me with a straight face and declared, "I'm not beautiful, I'm jammied!"
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Our thoughts on a heated subject
Well we have been asked by a friend to elaborate on our previous blogpost where we referenced Vaccines or Childhood vaccinations. I hope to answer why we have vaccinated LIliana and why we have yet to vaccinate Mattie. I also plan on adding a link so that you can learn for yourselves if interested.
I should start off by saying that this is a heated topic. As parents we want to do right by our children. I am sure we all do the best we can with the information we have at the time.
If I knew then what I know now, I would not have vaccinated Liliana with all of the vaccines. She probably would have had a small amount (possibly). For the most part I followed the standard American schedule for vaccines with L. For those who do not know, no other country gives as many vaccines as we do. For instance, in Japan, they give 7 shots over two years, as opposed to 30 for our children. This is one important factor. If I did choose to vaccinate I would adopt a different vaccination schedule (and any Pediatrician or Family Doc worth his salt would work with you in creating an alternate schedule). I would do this for several reasons:
1. Although as of 2004 or so Thimeresol (the mercury additive) was pulled from vaccines (it actually happened in 2001, but it takes several years for the old stock to be used up) by the FDA there are numerous other additives in the vaccines that are harmful to a young baby. It takes a good 18mts or so for the Blood-brain barrier to not be so permeable. When we inject a vaccine (in many cases we are injecting a live virus that is weakened), loaded with additives like mercury (which is still allowed in the yearly flu vaccine), aluminum, bovine serum, and a host of things that would make you cringe if as a parent you knew you were putting in your child, in a newborn baby it can easily cross that blood-brain barrier. Things like mercury and aluminum are toxic to the brain (this we are know from science class). Although our FDA has approved such additives as safe (setting safe levels for each additive), we have and continue to go above and beyond those safe levels when we inject more than one shot at a time. Sometimes, without realizing it, we are injecting 4-5 times the so called safe level of aluminum for instance.
2. Imagine you take your baby in for their well-child check up. You mention that she has been having bad skin reactions (this is usually a gut symptom, something she is eating is causing a reaction (or could be environment)) This means there is currently inflammation happening in her gut. Inflammation is not in itself a bad thing, it means our immune system is doing its thing. But long term inflammation is harmful to us and leaves us very vulnerable. So, you baby has skin rashes and eczema over and over, maybe she has had several colds, ear aches...maybe you have put her on medicine (antibiotics) several times in the last 6 months...(antibiotics by the way strip both the bad and the good bacteria from your gut, sometimes it strips most of the good and only part of the bad, for instance, I hardly submit to taking an antibiotic (which literally means, 'against life'), but when 8 mts pregnant I could not shake this head cold that was killing me. I took my weeks worth of pills and then got my first yeast infection...I had stripped my gut of the good bacteria, allowing an overgrowth of yeast (fueled by my 8mt pregnant person consumption of sugary foods). Then you take this child in to get 4 shots, 3 of which contain weakened live viruses that lodge themselves in their gut (measles loves to live in the gut). Not only have they been inundated with loads of additives over the so-called safe limit, they now have to contend with these weak viruses that are running through their body. So the spike a fever, their body is in fighting mode (more inflammation). What if they were already born with a weak immune system (either through genetics or toxic exposure during pregnancy)..add all of this together and it is a disaster for our little baby in the story. This is the multi-system idea behind Autism or other developmental and/or sensory issues in children. So to clarify, I do not believe children get autism from vaccines. I do believe that vaccines can/do cause problems when there are other mitigating circumstances.
3. So this leads to Mattie. Mattie has skin issues. Bad eczema. She is only breastfeed, so something I am eating is driving her gut into inflammation mode, and she cannot (or my diet cannot) pull her out of it (as a side note, with some experimenting, I think it is my dairy consumption (what I shouldn't be eating a bowl of ice cream ever night???)). I refuse to give my already immunologically compromised daughter shots that will drive her immune system into even more inflammation. It only takes so much before your body starts attacking itself or just shutting down (an always sick child for instance). I have a great doctor. He lets us decide her vaccine schedule (we have decided to re-evaluate vaccines for mattie when she is 18mts old), by then her body will be better able to handle any nasty additives should we feel the need to inoculate her against a few things.
4. We are not anti-vaccines. Liliana has had most (expect for ones we personally think are silly and not even worth the pain of the needle, like chicken pox and the flu) Mattie will probably end up with a few important ones like tetanus.
5. We are against the idea of forcing parents to give children shots (by not letting them into schools for instance). We also are against giving vaccines when babies are still in the hospital (like feeling the need to give a Hep B shot (which is a sexually transmittable thing-like our newborn will be sexually active anytime soon).
6. We believe in sound science. Let us honestly examine our current vaccines for the good and the bad in them and see how we can improve on them instead of being secretive and just hoping parents go along with the flow for profit sake.
7. If you want to learn all the science/research behind vaccines, check out that section in the following manual: "Changing the course of Autism:A scientific approach for parents and physicians"
8. If you want to watch the following it will also help explain:
http://anon.autismri.com.edgesuite.net/anon.autismri/Alexandria/HI%20video/DAN_VA_07_Parents_Cave_DSL.mov
Once again, these are decisions that are made by each family. I am sharing what we think/do. I hope this helps answer some questions.
I should start off by saying that this is a heated topic. As parents we want to do right by our children. I am sure we all do the best we can with the information we have at the time.
If I knew then what I know now, I would not have vaccinated Liliana with all of the vaccines. She probably would have had a small amount (possibly). For the most part I followed the standard American schedule for vaccines with L. For those who do not know, no other country gives as many vaccines as we do. For instance, in Japan, they give 7 shots over two years, as opposed to 30 for our children. This is one important factor. If I did choose to vaccinate I would adopt a different vaccination schedule (and any Pediatrician or Family Doc worth his salt would work with you in creating an alternate schedule). I would do this for several reasons:
1. Although as of 2004 or so Thimeresol (the mercury additive) was pulled from vaccines (it actually happened in 2001, but it takes several years for the old stock to be used up) by the FDA there are numerous other additives in the vaccines that are harmful to a young baby. It takes a good 18mts or so for the Blood-brain barrier to not be so permeable. When we inject a vaccine (in many cases we are injecting a live virus that is weakened), loaded with additives like mercury (which is still allowed in the yearly flu vaccine), aluminum, bovine serum, and a host of things that would make you cringe if as a parent you knew you were putting in your child, in a newborn baby it can easily cross that blood-brain barrier. Things like mercury and aluminum are toxic to the brain (this we are know from science class). Although our FDA has approved such additives as safe (setting safe levels for each additive), we have and continue to go above and beyond those safe levels when we inject more than one shot at a time. Sometimes, without realizing it, we are injecting 4-5 times the so called safe level of aluminum for instance.
2. Imagine you take your baby in for their well-child check up. You mention that she has been having bad skin reactions (this is usually a gut symptom, something she is eating is causing a reaction (or could be environment)) This means there is currently inflammation happening in her gut. Inflammation is not in itself a bad thing, it means our immune system is doing its thing. But long term inflammation is harmful to us and leaves us very vulnerable. So, you baby has skin rashes and eczema over and over, maybe she has had several colds, ear aches...maybe you have put her on medicine (antibiotics) several times in the last 6 months...(antibiotics by the way strip both the bad and the good bacteria from your gut, sometimes it strips most of the good and only part of the bad, for instance, I hardly submit to taking an antibiotic (which literally means, 'against life'), but when 8 mts pregnant I could not shake this head cold that was killing me. I took my weeks worth of pills and then got my first yeast infection...I had stripped my gut of the good bacteria, allowing an overgrowth of yeast (fueled by my 8mt pregnant person consumption of sugary foods). Then you take this child in to get 4 shots, 3 of which contain weakened live viruses that lodge themselves in their gut (measles loves to live in the gut). Not only have they been inundated with loads of additives over the so-called safe limit, they now have to contend with these weak viruses that are running through their body. So the spike a fever, their body is in fighting mode (more inflammation). What if they were already born with a weak immune system (either through genetics or toxic exposure during pregnancy)..add all of this together and it is a disaster for our little baby in the story. This is the multi-system idea behind Autism or other developmental and/or sensory issues in children. So to clarify, I do not believe children get autism from vaccines. I do believe that vaccines can/do cause problems when there are other mitigating circumstances.
3. So this leads to Mattie. Mattie has skin issues. Bad eczema. She is only breastfeed, so something I am eating is driving her gut into inflammation mode, and she cannot (or my diet cannot) pull her out of it (as a side note, with some experimenting, I think it is my dairy consumption (what I shouldn't be eating a bowl of ice cream ever night???)). I refuse to give my already immunologically compromised daughter shots that will drive her immune system into even more inflammation. It only takes so much before your body starts attacking itself or just shutting down (an always sick child for instance). I have a great doctor. He lets us decide her vaccine schedule (we have decided to re-evaluate vaccines for mattie when she is 18mts old), by then her body will be better able to handle any nasty additives should we feel the need to inoculate her against a few things.
4. We are not anti-vaccines. Liliana has had most (expect for ones we personally think are silly and not even worth the pain of the needle, like chicken pox and the flu) Mattie will probably end up with a few important ones like tetanus.
5. We are against the idea of forcing parents to give children shots (by not letting them into schools for instance). We also are against giving vaccines when babies are still in the hospital (like feeling the need to give a Hep B shot (which is a sexually transmittable thing-like our newborn will be sexually active anytime soon).
6. We believe in sound science. Let us honestly examine our current vaccines for the good and the bad in them and see how we can improve on them instead of being secretive and just hoping parents go along with the flow for profit sake.
7. If you want to learn all the science/research behind vaccines, check out that section in the following manual: "Changing the course of Autism:A scientific approach for parents and physicians"
8. If you want to watch the following it will also help explain:
http://anon.autismri.com.edgesuite.net/anon.autismri/Alexandria/HI%20video/DAN_VA_07_Parents_Cave_DSL.mov
Once again, these are decisions that are made by each family. I am sharing what we think/do. I hope this helps answer some questions.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Love and Logic
So. More on the previous book recommendation.
The premiss behind it is simple:
1. We can teach our children (wisdom) only when with empathy (love). They will not learn a lesson through anger.
2. It is better for them to make their mistakes (bad choices) now and suffer the consequences, than to be older and make bad choices and receive much harsher consequences.
3. We do not need to warn over and over of an impending consequence, the action will teach. Nor do we need to lecture afterwards (this implies our children are dumb and incapable of figuring out why a certain action occurred)
For example (since it is happening this very moment):
We have always had the hardest time with Liliana choosing to act up during family prayer at night. She full well knows what reverence is (as she insist on making sure others are being reverent) and understands why it is important. She just knows that when she ceases to be reverent she gets us going so quick and what young child wouldn't want to take control and get mom and dad all in a tizzy. Anyway, one of her favorite things to do is read books before bed. We encourage this and enjoy going through sometimes 20 books together. We explained that bedtime is at 7pm (she is into clocks and can tell most times, so she likes this) and asked her what things we needed to do before 7. She told us the various going to bed things, including her desire to read books. We got everything done (including scriptures), the last thing we needed to do before book time was say family prayer. Our normal tendency would have been to remind her over and over (warning over and over) that prayer time needed to be reverent or else book time would not happen. We had already said this once. We had to bite our lips shut and not say it anymore. She acted like normal (irreverent) during prayer. So after prayer we said, "so sad, looks like we will be going straight to bed tonight". I am sure you can imagine her response ... in fact the 'response' is still going on 15 mins. later. But that is okay, the more she misbehaves, the more 'fun' it is for us. There are more moments for her to learn wisdom. Right now Jacob is explaining to Liliana that due to all her excess crying, yelling, and carrying on, he is plum tired (energy drain) and that he will talk to mommy and find an appropriate consequence for tomorrow but for her not to worry about it, to just relax. She was very curios about what we needed to talk about. She will find out tomorrow. It will probably be extra chores that will help restore 'energy' back to jacob (which he ''lost' from having to deal with her carrying on). The 'energy drain' symptom is really something you can use when there is a behavior (like lying for instance) that is driving you crazy (or kids fighting), you just say, "mom is plum tired out due to (fill in the blank), what do you think you can do to help put my energy back (or help me feel better, however you want to phrase it)? They get a chance to think for themselves (of a solution) or they can ask you to give suggestions. It just kinda puts the ball in their court to fix any problem their actions have caused. Jacob and I have not yelled in 2 1/2 days! Not once! I knew we yelled alot but when you stop yelling (or pleading, arguing, warning over and over) you realize how often it was exhausting you) We feel great and have actually gotten to enjoy the company of our daughter all day long. Anyway ... anyone with kids enjoy the book...
The premiss behind it is simple:
1. We can teach our children (wisdom) only when with empathy (love). They will not learn a lesson through anger.
2. It is better for them to make their mistakes (bad choices) now and suffer the consequences, than to be older and make bad choices and receive much harsher consequences.
3. We do not need to warn over and over of an impending consequence, the action will teach. Nor do we need to lecture afterwards (this implies our children are dumb and incapable of figuring out why a certain action occurred)
For example (since it is happening this very moment):
We have always had the hardest time with Liliana choosing to act up during family prayer at night. She full well knows what reverence is (as she insist on making sure others are being reverent) and understands why it is important. She just knows that when she ceases to be reverent she gets us going so quick and what young child wouldn't want to take control and get mom and dad all in a tizzy. Anyway, one of her favorite things to do is read books before bed. We encourage this and enjoy going through sometimes 20 books together. We explained that bedtime is at 7pm (she is into clocks and can tell most times, so she likes this) and asked her what things we needed to do before 7. She told us the various going to bed things, including her desire to read books. We got everything done (including scriptures), the last thing we needed to do before book time was say family prayer. Our normal tendency would have been to remind her over and over (warning over and over) that prayer time needed to be reverent or else book time would not happen. We had already said this once. We had to bite our lips shut and not say it anymore. She acted like normal (irreverent) during prayer. So after prayer we said, "so sad, looks like we will be going straight to bed tonight". I am sure you can imagine her response ... in fact the 'response' is still going on 15 mins. later. But that is okay, the more she misbehaves, the more 'fun' it is for us. There are more moments for her to learn wisdom. Right now Jacob is explaining to Liliana that due to all her excess crying, yelling, and carrying on, he is plum tired (energy drain) and that he will talk to mommy and find an appropriate consequence for tomorrow but for her not to worry about it, to just relax. She was very curios about what we needed to talk about. She will find out tomorrow. It will probably be extra chores that will help restore 'energy' back to jacob (which he ''lost' from having to deal with her carrying on). The 'energy drain' symptom is really something you can use when there is a behavior (like lying for instance) that is driving you crazy (or kids fighting), you just say, "mom is plum tired out due to (fill in the blank), what do you think you can do to help put my energy back (or help me feel better, however you want to phrase it)? They get a chance to think for themselves (of a solution) or they can ask you to give suggestions. It just kinda puts the ball in their court to fix any problem their actions have caused. Jacob and I have not yelled in 2 1/2 days! Not once! I knew we yelled alot but when you stop yelling (or pleading, arguing, warning over and over) you realize how often it was exhausting you) We feel great and have actually gotten to enjoy the company of our daughter all day long. Anyway ... anyone with kids enjoy the book...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
thoughts
Well. we really have gotten pretty slack about our post. It is not because I don't think of something every day that I want to share. I just am so busy right now.
There are a few thoughts (random) that I would like to share.
1. The other day, as I was preparing dinner, I looked into the living room to see liliana sleeping on the couch (she had fallen asleep to a movie unexpectedly). As it was almost dinner time (and hence almost bed time) I tried to wake her up. I scooped her up in my arms and went and sat on the floor next to Mattie's car seat (as she had just woken up from her own nap and was hanging out in her car seat). I tried to talk to Liliana but she just was so tired she feel back asleep in my arms. I held my big girl, just as I used to when she was my baby. And I realized how precious this moment was to me. I took advantage of her sleepfulness and ran my fingers across her hair and face, the way I used to when she was all mine (instead of trying to be her own person now). I tucked her hair back, to give the illusion that her hair was short again, just like it used to be back when she was just mine. I had forgotten how soft her skin feels so i rubbed my cheek up against her face. For those few minutes she looked and felt like my little baby, she was just mine. Then she woke up. I love my big girl. But I miss my baby nana terribly! Why do our babies have to grow up. My dad still calls me his baby, now I know why.
2. We want to recommend a book (yes, that is where all my free time goes, I read like crazy!). If you are like us you may spend your days exhausted from arguing, bribing, yelling, stressing, etc. (with your children of course)...We just were always exhausted!
No more...."Love and Logic magic for early childhood". You should know (and those who know liliana know how amazing this is) that within 15 hours our daughter (yes, the same one who has a mind of her own) was literally jumping out of her shoes if she heard the dreaded words (in our case, we chose the following words) "Uh-oh" Anyway, you will have to read (get it from your library, or ILL it, or it is worth buying) to find out why and how we could go 2 whole days so far without breaking a sweat and with having fun disciplining...yes, I said fun.....
Well it is late. We will write more later...
There are a few thoughts (random) that I would like to share.
1. The other day, as I was preparing dinner, I looked into the living room to see liliana sleeping on the couch (she had fallen asleep to a movie unexpectedly). As it was almost dinner time (and hence almost bed time) I tried to wake her up. I scooped her up in my arms and went and sat on the floor next to Mattie's car seat (as she had just woken up from her own nap and was hanging out in her car seat). I tried to talk to Liliana but she just was so tired she feel back asleep in my arms. I held my big girl, just as I used to when she was my baby. And I realized how precious this moment was to me. I took advantage of her sleepfulness and ran my fingers across her hair and face, the way I used to when she was all mine (instead of trying to be her own person now). I tucked her hair back, to give the illusion that her hair was short again, just like it used to be back when she was just mine. I had forgotten how soft her skin feels so i rubbed my cheek up against her face. For those few minutes she looked and felt like my little baby, she was just mine. Then she woke up. I love my big girl. But I miss my baby nana terribly! Why do our babies have to grow up. My dad still calls me his baby, now I know why.
2. We want to recommend a book (yes, that is where all my free time goes, I read like crazy!). If you are like us you may spend your days exhausted from arguing, bribing, yelling, stressing, etc. (with your children of course)...We just were always exhausted!
No more...."Love and Logic magic for early childhood". You should know (and those who know liliana know how amazing this is) that within 15 hours our daughter (yes, the same one who has a mind of her own) was literally jumping out of her shoes if she heard the dreaded words (in our case, we chose the following words) "Uh-oh" Anyway, you will have to read (get it from your library, or ILL it, or it is worth buying) to find out why and how we could go 2 whole days so far without breaking a sweat and with having fun disciplining...yes, I said fun.....
Well it is late. We will write more later...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Raising Tree Huggers
Having just finished my OB rotation, I was let out early and was able to spend an extra day with my family, so we went to down-town Biddeford. We parked the car near a natural food store, where we bought a few things, then decided to walk to the library to get a book that Heather had reserved. On the way to the library, Liliana, dressed in pink galoshes, a flower dress, and a jean jacket, started to run ahead of us, only to stop and grab hold of a small tree. "Look," she said, "I'm hugging a tree!!" Heather and I looked at each other and started to laugh as our little tree hugger ran to the next tree and the next, giving each little tree a hug, laughing to herself all the way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
