Love and Logic

So. More on the previous book recommendation.
The premiss behind it is simple:
1. We can teach our children (wisdom) only when with empathy (love). They will not learn a lesson through anger.
2. It is better for them to make their mistakes (bad choices) now and suffer the consequences, than to be older and make bad choices and receive much harsher consequences.
3. We do not need to warn over and over of an impending consequence, the action will teach. Nor do we need to lecture afterwards (this implies our children are dumb and incapable of figuring out why a certain action occurred)
For example (since it is happening this very moment):
We have always had the hardest time with Liliana choosing to act up during family prayer at night. She full well knows what reverence is (as she insist on making sure others are being reverent) and understands why it is important. She just knows that when she ceases to be reverent she gets us going so quick and what young child wouldn't want to take control and get mom and dad all in a tizzy. Anyway, one of her favorite things to do is read books before bed. We encourage this and enjoy going through sometimes 20 books together. We explained that bedtime is at 7pm (she is into clocks and can tell most times, so she likes this) and asked her what things we needed to do before 7. She told us the various going to bed things, including her desire to read books. We got everything done (including scriptures), the last thing we needed to do before book time was say family prayer. Our normal tendency would have been to remind her over and over (warning over and over) that prayer time needed to be reverent or else book time would not happen. We had already said this once. We had to bite our lips shut and not say it anymore. She acted like normal (irreverent) during prayer. So after prayer we said, "so sad, looks like we will be going straight to bed tonight". I am sure you can imagine her response ... in fact the 'response' is still going on 15 mins. later. But that is okay, the more she misbehaves, the more 'fun' it is for us. There are more moments for her to learn wisdom. Right now Jacob is explaining to Liliana that due to all her excess crying, yelling, and carrying on, he is plum tired (energy drain) and that he will talk to mommy and find an appropriate consequence for tomorrow but for her not to worry about it, to just relax. She was very curios about what we needed to talk about. She will find out tomorrow. It will probably be extra chores that will help restore 'energy' back to jacob (which he ''lost' from having to deal with her carrying on). The 'energy drain' symptom is really something you can use when there is a behavior (like lying for instance) that is driving you crazy (or kids fighting), you just say, "mom is plum tired out due to (fill in the blank), what do you think you can do to help put my energy back (or help me feel better, however you want to phrase it)? They get a chance to think for themselves (of a solution) or they can ask you to give suggestions. It just kinda puts the ball in their court to fix any problem their actions have caused. Jacob and I have not yelled in 2 1/2 days! Not once! I knew we yelled alot but when you stop yelling (or pleading, arguing, warning over and over) you realize how often it was exhausting you) We feel great and have actually gotten to enjoy the company of our daughter all day long. Anyway ... anyone with kids enjoy the book...