Gratitude

Well. It has been a rough day. I looked on one of my friends blogs and found the following quote I thought was just perfect:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." -Melodie Beattie

I had to have Jacob take over for me in Primary as I was just going to start crying right there in front of the kids, which I just don't want to do that to them. He stepped in and did wonderful last minute. I am so thankful he was able to come home over the weekend. We still have 7 more weeks of separation (but him home on weekends) and I am trying to find little things about all this mess to be grateful for.
To top it off (why must we top things off anyway????) a few weeks back one of my aunts asked if I could have my mom come visit for a few days so that my other aunt could have a 'break'. I agreed for a few days (wed-sun), well, after many failed attempts to get either of my aunts on the phone I finally spoke to one and pulled out of her that neither of them had any intention of ever getting my mom back after her 'break' with me (i.e., they were dumping her and all her problems on me and were just hoping I would enjoy it as a surprise). So after a very heated conversation with my aunt in the parking lot of church between meetings, a good cry on the phone with my dad, and a somber afternoon, both trying to muster the needed courage for what lays ahead of me, as well as, trying to not be sad about the fact that jacob would be leaving us again. I am also sad because as a family we had been invited up to Bangor (on the hospitals tab no less (in a suite!!!)) for jacobs interview tomorrow. They had some events planned that our whole family could attend so that I could also find out about the program and area. I was really looking forward to this little family getaway (esp. since it was going to be free and it involved a seafood restaurant!). So that went out the window (wait, I need to read the quote up above again)...

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

I really like it...it (gratitude) turns chaos into order....the unexpected into perfect timing.....I cannot stop time to become the person I need to be inorder to make it through this (i sure wish i could) but im pretty confident that by getting through it I will become the person I am supposed to be

I am grateful for my husband. He is amazing. Honey, if you are reading this. I love you and miss you. Thank you for being willing to sacrifice so much so that with your hands you can help heal. I know it is not always the most ideal job (most days I am sure there would be something alot more fun to do (ie..build furniture, farm, etc)). I am grateful that you work hard and provide that example to our girls. I am grateful you do laundry when you see it is overflowing. That you hang the diaper covers up to dry instead of throwing them into the dryer. That you care about your health, both physically and spiritually and do things that will strengthen you in both ways. Have a wonderful interview!

I am trying hard to find what I am grateful for in having my mom thrust upon me. She is not completely the mom i remember and I am not quite sure what is wrong (which is why no one has been able to help her thus far). I want to do what is right and have not figured out what that is yet. It would be so much easier if we could just pick the trials that we felt prepared to have (ha..i know.....crazy thinking)...but, with gratitude I am hopeful I can turn this unexpected event into perfect timing. I am grateful that she is here as there is someone who can read liliana books over and over again, while i do boring things like dishes.
We are here to change, right???? I am just going to take it one day at a time.