Jacob had a recent meeting with his advisor at work. In that meeting Jacob was asked if he had any concerns (regarding his Residency program) and he told this other Doc that his biggest concern is me (how will I handle him being gone so much and not around to help with children, ever?)...at first when he told me that I thought it was cute I was mentioned in his meeting. Now I think how sad it is that he has to rightfully be concerned about the mental status of his wife.
We have been learning alot about the pioneers in Church recently and one of the things that stuck out to me was that when all these men were being sent off on missions or other such assignments, they left their young families, under much stress and hardship, but those left behind all helped one another so that the husbands absence was not as hard on the family as it would have been.
Sometimes I feel like we go it alone way too much. I know I do. I don't ask for help alot because, frankly, I would be asking for it ALL the time if I actually asked for it all the times I needed it. So I keep thinking, well it has to be a really desperate, about to go off the deep end situation before asking for help, but it really is too late then. It is much easier to help another when they are not so far gone, so I am sure it is easier for someone to help me when I have not totally lost it.
I think I also think I should be able to handle all that comes my way. But I have to say, I am still amazed that a handful of children, with only 'basic' needs of being fed, clothed, dressed, and entertained (taught), with a house that needs tending thrown in for good measure is more than I can handle many days.
I know we were never meant to accomplish all things by ourselves and I need to look for extra strength from Our Father in Heaven as well. I have always wanted to run faster and farther than my poor legs could ever take me. Having children under my care only worsens this trait. I want to give them everything, teach them everything, and well, it is impossible. So I will try to do better about waking up each morning and just working on the things that are possible (and what is possible is different when Jacob is around compared to when he is not)...
I know many of my feelings on this subject are this way because of having just moved to a totally new place (even if there are some familiar people here) my environment has changed, my support group is changing (still trying to get one of these together), I also just added to my family...so I need to give myself a break...
Well, time to get to work...
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2 comments:
Don't forget to mention those wonderful hormones we women are so blessed with! I love those scriptures that talk about not walking faster than we have energy for. I always have to remind myself that people come first. Everything else will fall into place afterwards.
I love the pioneers. The one problem I have about talking about the pioneers is that people seem to think that we should all be able to handle our trials because they're not "as hard" as the pioneers'. Sure, we don't have to walk across the plains, have babies in the snow, etc, but I think the trials we face are just as hard. They're just different. Like you said, they had the companionship of others to help them out in the midst of they're difficulties. They didn't face hardly anything truly alone I think. I think our main trial in life today is trying to find that camaraderie when everything is based on the individual.
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