my day

Well it has been a beautiful day here in Southern Maine. The best so far of the year. I am sitting at the computer at the end of a long day, tired, and feeling like my abdomen and bladder are being beat up on (hmmm..maybe because THEY ARE!!!!!)..seriously, even on the third child it is still so weird to feel yourself being kicked from the inside out. Nice, but weird.
We went to the park today with other homeschoolers to chat and play. I didn't get to do a whole lot of chatting because my little miss Mattie thinks she is a big girl now (and I have to admit in many ways she is), so that means she climbs her way high up the slides and just flings herself down and is like a dog when approaching a road, keeps her head down and just walks on out.
After dinner (which was preceded by wailing and gnashing of teeth due to hunger pains (seriously I am going to hook my kids up to an IV) I informed the children (pigs) that we lived in a mess (stye). I gave liliana the choice of choosing what she wanted to clean up to having me choose (she will really only clean up if it somehow resembles a game and for some reason she turned me telling her little items to clean up into a game, like she was trying to get them done as soon as possible, before I completed my task). Anyway before all of this started I was trying to finish my dinner and I overheard Liliana say the following to Mattie about our upcoming chores:

liliana: Mattie, chores is not playing, it is doing work for mommy and daddy"

I had to smile at that one. Although the reason liliana even brought it up to mattie was because mattie was in too good of a mood for someone who was being asked to do chores. So this was lilianas way of letting her sister know there was nothing to be excited about.

You know, I never knew when I grew up that I would have a job like the one I have. Take today for instance. Jacob left for work early and is at the Temple now, so he wont be home till late tonight. I cant remember how many spills we had just during breakfast (this seems to be a daily occurrence and it drives me mad!). In an attempt to clean up this morning our home became dirtier. I seem to recall trying to put laundry away and having a little toddler throw it all out of the draw as I was putting it in (all while trying to chat on the phone, explaining cloth diapering to a friend). So I gave up on that laundry basket and moved unto trying to put the cloth diapers away, but apparently the basket they were in was too inviting and just big enough for two girls to climb in, so I lost that one as well (currently, incase your interested, the cloth diapers are laying on the floor in front of the closet and the clothes are on the ground in front of the dresser). Then I believe two girls I know started to fall apart for 'snack' time. You know the way people act when upon deaths doorway, seriously, we have some drama here and we have not even hit puberty yet!
Snack/lunch is one big messy, spilling blur. Then we went out (after much cleaning of faces and hands and clothes (you wouldn't believe how messy kids can get in my house!) for eggs and treats at the health food store, then to the park. Where I proceeded to get my exercise for the week (note to self, no more getting pregnant when you still have a toddler). Upon returning home mattie slept and stayed in the car for a brief nap. I went to go wake her up, brought her inside, sat her on me and she proceeded to fill her diaper with pee and then it overflowed unto me and the couch. But being already 4 years into motherhood, I didn't freak out. I didn't even get up to change, what is the point afterall, I was going to be getting nose gunk wiped all over me for the rest of the day (and people wonder why I don't do my hair :))...anyway, sometime around then the massive falling apart happened for dinner food. Have I ever mentioned that my day seems to revolve around food. I am the pregnant hungry person here but I don't even get a chance to consider that, I am too busy feeding two little girls.
Anywho, that was mostly my day, oh wait, I forgot when I was cleaning up after mattie, who had been playing with her sissy's counting stones, that she had dropped and broken them, so I received several cuts. But that was fun for liliana, it gave her a chance to play doctor and as she has informed us, doctors are smart (not daddies, she clarified that for us as well, just doctors-hmmmmm).

Medical Insurance woes

Alright, so I have a few thoughts about this topic I just need to spit out.
So most of us are what is referred to as, "insurance poor". What this means is that for whatever reason we find ourselves paying out 1/3-1/2 of our yearly income just for 'insurance', not to mention if we actually use the said insurance, then we pay out even more. Now the 'idea' behind having insurance is so that if something 'happens' we have paid this company to pay our bill for us. Sounds simple enough. But this company runs like a business, with profit margins it wants to grow and such, so they are banking on the fact that we never use our 'insurance', we just lose the money to them. Now having said this, it would seem to make more sense to just set aside the same amount of money ourselves (be our own insurance company, per se) and use it when and if we ever needed to pay for a service. Now, this is the theory, but insurance companies have pretty well made sure we dont even consider this option. The way they have done this is by jacking up the price of care, particarly critical care (ER, Surgery, ICU, etc...). Most of us never need such services and could easily afford random office visits here and there but if in an accident we needed surgery we would more than wipe out our 'health savings account'. So most people carry insurance 'in case' the moment ever arrives that they need this critical care. Many people think their doctor or hospital is setting the price of their visit but that is not the whole truth. The insurance company (each one varies) tells the hospital, 'we will reimburse you this % of that procedure'. So the hospital says, "okay, performing that procedure cost us $80.00 and the insurance company will only pay us back $45 of it, so we either need to a) find something else to bill for, or b) bill the patient the rest, or c) jack up our prices in hopes that the insurance company will pay a percentage of it.

Now unto why this is on my mind:

Many of you know that while in school we have been on state medical insurance. There are pros and cons to this. I do not like being on this insurance because I am too aware of the fact that the doctors providing me service receive no or little compensation for caring for me, most especially if it is care received in a hospital receive absolutley no reimbursement (for those who dont know, many hospitals in maine are suing the state for back payments up to 10 yrs ago!!!). So by caring this insurance, like most of Maine, I am in a way forcing docotrs to take on more patients in order to cover their cost. We all gripe about waiting times and not long enough appts with our care providers but this is a result of insurance companies not paying out all or any of the doctors bill.
Now the plus to being on this kind of 'insurance (if it can even be called that) is I do not have monthly premiums, nor co-pays or deductibles, which has allowed us to save money and have the 'luxary' (and yes, in todays world, it is a luxuary) to pay cash for services I want/need that are not covered by Mainecare. For exmple, we paid cash for Mattie to see a Naturapathic doc inorder to find out about her food sensitivites/ her rashes/ and start her on the road to recovery. We thankfully found a doctor who does not charge as much as she could. For our 90 min appts we pay around $100.00 and she is willing to let you pay little by little if need be and Matties 'remedy' for helping her healing cost all of $5.00. But this is a result of actually living somewhere in Maine where care ilke this can be found, most have no or little access to care like this, even if they had the money to pay for it out of pocket.

So, now many of you also know that Jacob is only a few short weeks from being a legitimate, paid (severly underpaid) doctor. We requested info on the benefits offered to us through his employment (the hospital of all places) and it was very clear, right off, that we could neither afford to pay for the health insurance, nor would we still qualify for state insurance. We find ourselves int hat lovely middle place that gets talked about by politicians who could mostly care less. I had a range of emotions yesterday about this, mostly anger. I mean seriously, my husband is providing healthcare and we cant even afford to have it ourselves. I understand why. I mean the hospital is not reimbursed enough from all insurance companies in order to run a healthy business, so it needs to cut cost where it can, including what it can offer its employees.

So, what is the answer? Well we will do what many do. Save money aside and pay cash for services needed, as needed and hope nothing major comes up that we cant afford.

What will jacob do in practice after residency? He will not take any insurance, none! Now there are more and more doctors who are either not taking any insurance or are selecting a few they feel reimburse them in an okay nad timely fashion. What this means for regular people is that more and more people who spend a ton of money every year for insurance are and will find that having that insurance is pointless if wanting to see many docotors. The patient ends up having to pay cash nad then a) send in the bill to their own insurance company and try to get reimbursed or b) try to afford paying for insuarnce and then afford paying cash as well. Incidently, if the patient submits the bill to the insurance company they will always gets reimbused more of a % then if the doctor submitted the same bill for reimbursment.

I dont know what to do about hospital care. If the prices go down for that kind of care, and people actually pay their bills, then it would be possible for many people to put aside money incase of an emergency. but I am almost certain what will happen will be that kind of care will be taken over by the government and well we know how well they run things (including their own military hospitals) and we will be taxed more for having access to a hospital and then if we wanted to actually see a good doctor it would be cash based.

So being pregnant and getting ready to arrive in an area that is new to me, pretty much on the eve of having a baby it is on my mind alot on who and how the baby and I will get care. I already told jacob that I would just call him home and he could deliver the baby. He wouldnt mind doing this but thinks his employeers would frown upon this, you know, a homebirth performed by one of their residents no less. Seriously folks, for most of time we have been having our babies at home (anyway, that is a different topic altogether)

I am done. I will post one more thing later about this.

Mom-hood

Alright, so in my last post I spoke about being all alone and loving it. Then the week started and , well, lets just say it has been a good 6 mts-8mts since I have been alone in the home taking care of the kids and I have pretty well failed this week. Don't worry, I am okay with temporary failure (it is inevitable, after all, sometimes), I think I would be alittle bit depressed about this past week, but the sun has been shining just about every day and well...how can I not be happy when the birds are chirping outside and spring has arrived, at least to my neck of the woods of Maine.

I found this online:

I send faxes and emails between diaper changes. I make phone calls between laundry loads and meet with students between daycare pick-ups and doctor appointments. Four hours of uninterrupted sleep is rare and it's a good day when I can have a shower!


I have been blessed with three beautiful babies in two years. We adopted our oldest child when he was 15 months old in the summer of 2006. Two weeks later I learned I was pregnant with our second son. Six months after his birth we learned our daughter was on the way.


I work full-time from home and am very grateful to be able to keep my daughter at home with me. It can be a challenge to plan naps around conference calls, however. I admit that balance is hard to come by, and I often forfeit a clean house for spending time with my kids.


Personal time is exceedingly rare and is often limited to my showers. Ten minutes to myself with no interruptions is a complete luxury and can do wonders for my mood.


I try to incorporate exercise with my kids and am anxious for the snow to melt so I can make good use of my jogging story and work on losing baby weight!


There are days when I'm behind on work, my kids are crying and my house is a complete disaster and I feel like a failure. I remember that this phase will end and my kids will get bigger . Then I remind myself how wonderful this time is.


There are two things that are certain about motherhood. The first is that it is the hardest and most rewarding job in the world. The second is that no matter how hard you try, you will never get caught up on the laundry."


So i have a new thought ( I am sure it is an old one, just being re-spoken);;;;;;we were never meant to be moms all on our own. Don't worry ladies, I am not advocating Polygamy (are you crazy...........), just saying, it seems do able, being a mom, when we have consistent inputs of help from others. It is truly an impossibility by ourselves.
but, we keep on going..my kids easily forgive (at least at this age), I easily forget (due to sleep deprivation at random times, soon to be all the time), and we manage to grow,live,learn,love in the midst of chaos, I mean, life....

Good job Moms!!!!!!!

all alone

It has been awhile but folks, I am all alone!!!!
my mom got moved out this past Monday (what a surprise for me!)
and Zarah (who has been here helping me with kids and preliminary packing-thanks so much!) is on her way to the airport. jacob took the girls and well I can't quite remember what I used to do when all alone in a home, my home.

Speaking of homes, we are still trying to figure out where we are going to live in a few 10 weeks or so. I feel like a mother bird flying around looking for a nest to land on.

Jacob has 6 more weeks of rotations and then he is done with school. wow..never thought I would say that sentence.

We are all very excited about spring and summer, as so many of our favorite things happen during those months. We will miss living so close to southern Maine's beautiful beaches.

I am glad we will be moving to another great part of Maine. I am happy our kids get to experience various parts of this state.

"Hey Mommy!"

All of you post-partum mothers, please don't hate Heather. When she gets pregnant, she never gains a ton of weight. At 20+ weeks, her tummy is just starting to pop out a little bit - only noticeable to most people in certain clothing and after a big meal, but definitely there if take a "before" and "after" picture.

Most importantly, Liliana has noticed it: We were sitting on the couch the other day and Liliana looked over at Heather and patted her belly, saying "Look Mommy, your belly is big". She then patted Heather's breasts and said "Mommy, your belly is bigger than your breasts!"

baby....names

I always used to kid jacob that he and I would have a car load of girls...we are well on our way...baby # 3 is a girl and both #1 and #2 are excited for that and to be big sissy's.
She looked great in the ultrasound and I pretty much measured right on. It was nice to see her on the screen and see that we for real are going to have another baby, good reminder to have every once in awhile.
So, seeing as we have already had 2 girls we are kinda out of girl names...we are taking suggestions...what do you think she should be called?????

A creative game

I'm usually such a wimp about this kind of stuff. I figure what I have to offer isn't always that super. But with a year time committment, I just might be able to swing this. And I couldn't resist the friend it came from.

So, here's how it works: the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year a handmade gift from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going (or copy and paste like I did). Then come back, let me know you're going to play and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift!

Just the thought of receiving something in the mail that isn't a bill is delightful!

Come and play!

Now, remember "ya get what ya get and ya don't throw a fit".

Post Copy Edit : One of my goals this year is to encourage my lack of creativity. This looks like it will provide the nudge I need. So who is gonna play???